I thought if I walked the same path as my heroes I could catch up with them someday. I was never much of a joiner but sought to emulate those who were in the forefront of all the trendiness. To take on all the destructive qualities was a bad idea, but cathartic. It didn't kill me, so I guess I'm stronger for it.
I also wanted to be identifiable to like-minded people, while struggling to strike out in my own direction.
I'm still the same minus some of the bad habits.