ODE TO SPELL CHECKERS

[jingle_jangle]

I have a spelling checker
I disc covered four my PC.
It plane lee marks four my revue
Miss steaks aye can knot see.

Eye ran this poem threw it.
Your sure real glad two no.
Its very polished in its weigh,
My checker tolled me sew.

A checker is a blessing.
It freeze yew lodes of thyme.
It helps me right awl stiles two reed,
And aides me when aye rime.

Each frays comes posed up on my screen
Eye trussed too bee a joule.
The checker pours o'er every word
To cheque sum spelling rule.
Bee fore wee rote with checkers
Hour spelling was inn deck line,
Butt now when wee dew have a laps,
Wee are not maid too wine.

And now bee cause my spelling
Is checked with such grate flare,
There are know faults in awl this peace,
Of nun eye am a wear.

To rite with care is quite a feet
Of witch won should be proud,
And wee mussed dew the best wee can,
Sew flaws are knot aloud.

That's why eye brake in two averse
Cuz Eye dew want too please.
Sow glad eye yam that aye did bye
This soft wear four pea seas.

OR:


I shot a query into the net.
I haven't got an answer yet,
But seven people gave me hell
And said I ought to learn to spell;

A posted message called me rotten
For ignoring mail I'd never gotten;
An angry message asked me, Please
Don't send such drivel overseas;

A lawyer sent me private mail
And swore he'd slap my *** in jail --
I'd mentioned Un*x in my gem
And failed to add the T and M;
One netter thought it was a hoax:
"Hereafter, post to net dot jokes!";
Another called my grammar vile
And criticized my writing style.

Each day I scan each Subject line
In hopes the topic will be mine;
I shot a query into the net.
I haven't got an answer yet ...

[cjj]

Oddly enough, that's better than a lot of the "spelling" I see on the net...

[s4001]

Man, I got a headache trying to read that.

[electrofaro]

Scottie wrote it?

[manta]

Seen (by me) on a mountain cabin in the Colorado Needle Creek Basin area:

A mountain feller
Ain't necessarily
A speler

[T.A.R.]

Man, I got a headache trying to read that.

+1

[Bassmouse]

That's fantastic, Paul - thankyou very much for posting it!