CHUCK NORRIS TURNS 70! FACTS YOU SHOULD KNOW

[Ric-O-Buc]

Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.

The Bible was originally titled "Chuck Norris and Friends".

Chuck Norris was banned from competitive bullriding after a 1992 exhibition in San Antonio, when he rode the bull 1,346 miles from Texas to Milwaukee Wisconsin to pick up his dry cleaning.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

Chuck Norris has already counted up to infinity. Twice.

In the beginning, God said "Let there be light". Chuck Norris replied "One says "please" first".

Chuck Norris can speak in Braille.

Chuck Norris plays racquetball with a waffle iron and a bowling ball.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris has to use a stunt double when he has to do a crying scene.

Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. It's descendants are known today as giraffes.

Chuck Norris has no chin under his beard, just another fist.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may only be seconds away from death.

Chuck Norris once visited The Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.

Chuck Norris does not read. he simply stares the book down until it surrenders all the information Chuck wants.

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack, his heart is not stupid enough to attack

Chuck Norris invented writing. Just to let a deaf guy know he was going to beat him up.

Chuck Norris is already dead. But death is just too afraid to come get him.

[cjj]

[kiramdear]

These remind me of the old Paul Bunyan tales they used to tell when I was a kid.

[cjj]

Only these are all TRUE...

[Ric-O-Buc]

Chuck Norris' first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors.

Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.

[cjj]

Well, then he went to Mars...

[jimk]

Well, then he went to Mars...

....and then what happened Uncle CJ?
JimK

[cjj]

http://apod.nasa.gov/apod/ap030824.html

And that's just a start...