Speaker Cream

[jps]

You gotta' see this!

Some great quotes from the Talkbass thread on this miracle lotion:

From the Makers of "Tube Salve" and "Cable Ointment" get yours today and recieve a free jar of "Amp Wax"

How many applications would my hartkes need?

What's next - sliced cucumbers and avacado wedges to put on the cones after the gig.

"Guaranteed to relieve your speaker cones daily stress! Simply melts the harsh tones and wrong notes away! Call 1-866-U-SUCKER"

[JakeK]

What...the...hello?

[beatlefreak]

The seller must be from the P.T. Barnum School of Marketing.

[rickenbrother]

[sharkboy]

Here's my favorite one:

Altman's Tube-o-later:

http://www.altmann.haan.de/tubeolator/

Too bad it's not for sale anymore, I was gonna do my whole house in it and use it for a hair gel.

[collin]

Well.......at least a half dozen people in the first page of his feedback review have bought it and are happy. Placebo effect?


Ex:

THIS STUFF WORKS, perfect for super stiff new italian jensens. long term unknown edsween ( 348) Dec-27-08 16:29
Speaker Cream for Jensen, Eminence, Celestion speakers (#300280353777) US $9.00 View Item

[cjj]

Here's my favorite one:

Altman's Tube-o-later:

http://www.altmann.haan.de/tubeolator/

Too bad it's not for sale anymore, I was gonna do my whole house in it and use it for a hair gel.

That reminds me of those magnets you put on your fuel line to get more mileage...

Hmm, I'll bet if you put those very same magnets on your guitar cable you'll get tons more sustain. Hey, I think I've just invented the next new wonder product for the music industry! Where's my advertising team???

[jingle_jangle]

How about this?

http://www.ennemoser.com/horrorshow.html

[cjj]

How about this?

http://www.ennemoser.com/horrorshow.html

How about one of these:

This will break-in all of your audio cables so they have the best sound possible. And it can be yours for just $689 for the standard version, or $799 for the Pro:
http://www.audioexcellenceaz.com/audiod ... cooker.htm

[fatcat]

As through this life you travel you'll meet some funny men
Some will rob you with a six gun,and some with a fountain pen

[johnallg]

How about this?

http://www.ennemoser.com/horrorshow.html

How about one of these:

cablecooker.jpg

This will break-in all of your audio cables so they have the best sound possible. And it can be yours for just $689 for the standard version, or $799 for the Pro:
http://www.audioexcellenceaz.com/audiod ... cooker.htm

Make sure you mark the polarity when done!