All-time favorite quotes

[jps]

You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be led.

S. Laurel

[fireglo67]

From my 4 year old daughter......

"Why do you make me go to bed at night when I'm not tired, and then wake me up in the morning when I am?"

[cjj]

[peewee]

"I never drink water. Fish f**k in it..."

--W.C. Fields

I use this one all the time! Classic!


From 'Cool Hand Luke' -

"What we've got here is... failure to communicate. Some men you just can't reach. So you get what we had here last week, which is the way he wants it... well, he gets it. I don't like it any more than you men."


From 'A Face In The Crowd' -

"Rednecks, crackers, hillbillies, hausfraus, shut-ins, pea-pickers - everybody that's got to jump when somebody else blows the whistle. They don't know it yet, but they're all gonna be 'Fighters for Fuller'. They're mine! I own 'em! They think like I do. Only they're even more stupid than I am, so I gotta think for 'em. Marcia, you just wait and see. I'm gonna be the power behind the president - and you'll be the power behind me!"

"I'm not just an entertainer. I'm an influence, a wielder of opinion, a force... a force!"

- Larry "Lonesome" Rhodes


From 'Raising Arizona' -


Evelle: Do they blow up in funny shapes?
Grocer: Nope. Unless round's funny.

Evelle: I got me some baby grub, baby wipes, diapers, them disposable kind. I also got a package of balloons.
Gale: They blow up into funny shapes and all?
Evelle: No, just circular.


Nathan Arizona Sr.: Eight hundred leaf-tables and no chairs? You can't sell leaf-tables and no chairs. Chairs, you got a dinette set. No chairs, you got d*ck!

Nathan Arizona Sr.: If a frog had wings, it wouldn't bump its *** a- hoppin'. Look, it is exactly 8:45 in the PM. I'll be down at that store in exactly 12 hours to kick me some butt. Or my name ain't Nathan Arizona!

[antipodean]

From Spike Milligan:

- "A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree."

- "I can speak Esperanto like a native."

- "All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy. "

- "Money couldn't buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy. "

- "I'm not afraid of dying I just don't want to be there when it happens."

[ozover50]

Another one from Spike Millingan:

"Hang on, Father..... them's more than me trousers ye got there!!"

[deaconblues]

"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans" - John Lennon

"Which aspects of our nature will prevail is uncertain, particularly when our visions and prospects are bound to one small part of the small planet Earth. But up there in the immensity of the Cosmos, an inescapable perspective awaits us. There are not yet any obvious signs of extraterrestrial intelligence and this makes us wonder whether civilizations like ours always rush implacably, headlong, toward self-destruction. National boundaries are not evident when we view the Earth from space. Fanatical ethnic or religious or national chauvinisms are a little difficult to maintain when we see our planet as a fragile blue crescent fading to become an inconspicuous point of light against the bastion and citadel of the stars."

- Carl Sagan

and my favorite:

"A witty saying proves nothing." - Voltaire

[gibsonlp]

One of my favorites:


(You gotta love Spike!)

[cjj]

Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity...