Rickresource Rickenbacker Forum

Now this isn't a joke. I've had a crush one a girl that I used to go to school with since 6th grade (I'd be in 12th this coming year, but I quit and am getting my GED.) Well since I got back to to the states I've been trying to.. well be a boyfriend and it hasn't been successful. I have a feeling she feels the same way (She's a shy girl but opens up when it's just us, she tells me secret stuff nobody knows, she wears stuff that I like after I mention I like it and she got all made up when I took her to a simple movie) but she likes to put me down and say I'm not good enough for her.. like I'm "Too goofy" or something.

Well the other day when I was walking her home she said I was her "best friend".

Is that a sign to give up? Or stick with it because she trusts me?

Now I realize this might not be the best kind of topic to post here, even though it is in the others, but I trust the people here and I like the advice given at times. I just hope Peter doesn't delete this.. lol.

Oh and to almost keep this in the topic of the forum.. she watched me play my bass when I had her and a few other friends over last Friday and she seemed to enjoy it.

Ah ha ha ha ha...

Ahem.

In a word: yes.

Dude, did you read the link I posted THE LAST TIME you talked about this?

No? Google "Ladder Theory."

Also: Chicks hate Rush. Just saying.

I was playing Maiden and Floyd! So

Yeah, I read the link, just a lot has happened since then.. sorry for posting this again.. lol.

Did I make a wrong turn and end up in the Harmony Central Bass Forum? Just bustin on ya, I kind of like the way they do things over there. I wish I could go back and do all things you're getting ready to do all over again. It's a learning process, just trust your instincts and try not to be too serious at your age, you have plenty of time for that. You will go through plenty of women by the time you get to be my age, just hang on and enjoy the ride. I'm getting ready to tie the knot for the third time and she's the best one yet. Oh- and she likes Rush but she really doesn't understand why I have to have so many bass guitars. oh well.....

When I was writing the first post I wrote "Go ahead and make jokes." I deleted that but expected some anyway...

Oh well..

Curmudgeonly Advice (thrice married, many times "in love", four kids by two different wives...):

"Best friend" depends upon who said it.

If she's been around, she's giving you some distance while still trying to keep hopes and her convenience ties with you, open. But in the short term, you're looking at becoming a Male Dame. The returns won't be too good when weighed against your masculine expectations. Eventually, you could have a "girlfriend" in the non-Oprah sense. It's a (you should pardon the expression) **** shoot.

If she's a fresh-faced, sweetie as I hope my nine-year-old will still be in a few rough years (rough on me), then it is her testing you and it's up to you to never fail to live up to her preconceptions and expectations of someone who's probably not the you that you think you are.

In other words, rotsa ruck.

The good news: It gets easier when you get older.

The bad news: It gets much, much harder when you get old.

Good stuff from the Curmudge, Nate. Whatever you do, young grasshopper..... be cool!

The right cap might just tip her over the edge, too.......

Thanks for the advice, Paul. That's what I was looking for.

"If she's been around"
Eh? Whatcha mean?

She's the one who said best friend. I figured it was a dead end at that, but my mother (laugh all you want!) said that that's not a bad thing, as she and my step dad were best friends for months before they became "involved".

I think she may be taking advantage of me (I took her to a concert in late July) but she also sees that I'm the only person who can give her a good time. She complains her other friends are unreliable or not as fun, where as I am on time and do stuff with just her.

Also she used to ignore me. I'd say I'd be over at so and so time and then I'd get there and she'd have an excuse or not be there. So I ignored her for a week, and now she doesn't do that anymore.

Also seeing how it's been almost 6 years of me feeling the same I'd think she'd realize that I'm not joking around.

Hahahaha! Howard, you're the best! I need one. I'm pretty sure my dad would make fun of me for having one, but his opinion doesn't matter to me anymore. Not sure what she'd think.

Well, Nate.... I have a couple on board, so when I hit Buffalo the choice will be yours, young friend.

Nate...

My wife and I were friends first. That lasted for a weekend, and we got married 9 months later. But I digress...

Experience? Too much... I've seen everything. Does this mean I know women? All men want to say they've figured some things out, and we've gotten closer over the millenia, but the cold truth is that they'll never let us understand them completely. To do so would be surrender, and who wins in that situation?
What's the point of all of this? The whole situation is way too complicated. She's saying things that would make me never call her again, and in my opinion if a girl says you're not good enough for her, the truth is the other way around. But that's just my policy, your thought process might be different. Whichever direction you go is cool, just as long as you don't get yourself into a situation that's no good for you and you can't get out of it.

Summary... you're young. There are alot better girls out there that would kill for a creative, passionate, intelligent person like yourself. Don't waste your time worrying about some girl who doesn't think you're good enough for her.

Soapbox off.

Jeeze.. you guys are too nice.

Bob, when I noticed you wrote a response I smiled. You always manage to say something nice to me.. lol.

"To do so would be surrender, and who wins in that situation?"

ROFL!

I feel like a better person than her sometimes, but I try not to feel like I'm better than anyone else.

She's said some really rude things to me before. I've told her how funny my family is and she said "Your family sounds weird.. I don't want to be a part of it." But she makes up for it later. She's incredibly funny at times, and she gets my sense of humor. We've exchanged a few random joke, but they're too naughty for this forum.
Not to mention she goes on and on and on about a guy totally out of her league and manages to mention him every time I hang out with her, as to make me jealous or not feel worthy.

Me: I can't go a day without making a Star Wars or Simpson's reference. (Yes, I'm a nerd )
Her: I can't go a day without thinking about L***.

Maybe she's hiding behind a shield of hostility or something because she's shy.

One time I found out she liked me back.. which sucked at the time, because I had another girlfriend and pretty much gave up and her. I acted like a spaz everyday in the class we were in in school and I found out the next year she had feelings for me. If I act like that not I get told I'm "too goofy".

Howard, I can't wait!

My two cents: don't be in a hurry. And if a girl says something rude to you, that may mean: a) she doesn't like you; b) she does like you; c) nothing in particular. "Best friend" reference may mean... either what you're thinking about, or "please give me some time", or anything (albeit i must point out, my daughter's Dad was actually a "best friend" some 10 years ago). And if she says you're not good enough for her... well, i just hope you're not dating a future Yoko or Heather. Albeit many girls say that about the boys. Some may do it in order to attract attention to themselves & show their own importance.
Whatever - good luck!

Agreed Sheena Good luck Nate!

Nate, you are young and there are a lot of fish in the sea. When I was your age I too sweated all the details like that and it got me nowhere but a bundle of indecision. You need to believe two things just for yourself about yourself; you are a decent person that really has something to offer, and the other thing is if a female can't see that and respond, move on. Be your own best friend, really like yourself, and then you can offer much to someone else. She sounds like she has a lot of issues herself. A lot of what is eating the both of you is insecure youth.

Learning how to appreciate females as friends goes a long way to appreciating females as lovers. And I don't mean just in the sack.

Jeez, I sound like Dr. Phil... :0

Thank God I haven't been there yet....AND I'M 30!!!!!!!!

Now I see what kind of headache I've been missing.