My Achy Breaky Thumbs

jdogric12 · Post by **jdogric12** » Sun Jan 14, 2007 4:12 am

Well, they're not broken, but, well, I played this gig last night. First dueling pianos show I've done in about a year, and man, did I forget how piano can kill my thumbs! The show was wrought with problems from the word go, though. The pianos were supposed to be tuned in place, day of. They were not. And they gave us a baby grand and an upright (hello??? dueling pianos??? don't take a knife to a gunfight!) which, mainly due to their age and proximity to the Gulf of Mexico, would not hold a proper tuning. And this was at a place that is supposed to be a nice resort (a well-known hotel in St. Pete Beach worthy of a "Don" or a "Cesar"). If that wasn't enough, the upright was turned facing backstage, so everyone got a good look at my backside! Given the direction, I had to bang the bejesus out of the 88's just to hear myself. Oh, and the middle pedal mechanism broke during the first set. Cause I ROCK!!!

And then the crowd. What a blue bunch of mark-a$$ tricks and scallywogs. Between keeping people's beers off the pianos, or from playing them while we were on break, or those who wanted the token overweight ethnic woman to sing an Aretha Franklin song (these really were some ignorant stereotype-perpetuating trash and they of course got offended because they didn't understand that NO ONE USES MY MICROPHONE because why? BECAUSE NO ONE USES MY MICROPHONE FIVE SECONDS LATER THE RULE HASN'T CHANGED SO DON'T ASK AGAIN TO PUT YOUR SLOPPY DRUNK MOUTH ON MY MICROPHONE) I couldn't hardly remember my darn lines!

I did get off a few good jokes at my partner's expense, which is my favorite part of dueling pianos. And we didn't even get paid last night - we have to pick up the check today.

It was a very nice reminder of why I quit this type of gig a year ago. Except back then it was Thurs-Sat 9pm-3am every week.

So would anyone else like to vent about a crumby gig? The floor is open...

jdogric12 · Post by **jdogric12** » Sun Jan 14, 2007 4:55 am

Please listen... it's much funnier in audio. Stereo must be enabled for full effect.

http://download.yousendit.com/99C261CB0987B329

beatlefreak · Post by **beatlefreak** » Sun Jan 14, 2007 5:50 am

I know how you feel about the microphone, Jdog. Unplug that baby and stash it when you go on break. Simply turning the PA off doesn't help, because the audience still sees the mic and thinks it's karaoke time with 'Mr. Microphone'!

jps · Post by **jps** » Sun Jan 14, 2007 11:28 am

Did you play any Genesis at the gig?

No huh? Maybe that is why they were so unruly!