Rickresource Rickenbacker Forum

The Man Rules­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally , the guys' side of the story.
We always hear ' the rules from the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered '1 ' ON PURPOSE!


1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We
have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you
don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...
Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss
such topics as baseball or golf or Formula 1.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

That's hilarious I am going to send that to my wife. I'll say you sent it to me. Is that OK?

Soitenly!

A good female friend going back to the early '70s sent that to me.

My wife will get a kick out of that list. Man that is so funny. There's a lot of truth in comedy it would seem. Or is it there is a lot of comedy in truth? Whatever! Thank you!

True, oh so true. That's why i am happy i'm a woman and not a man who has to deals with all those hints and "mind-reading" every day.
Still, i disagree with the point one, i mean point one, i mean this one:

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

So, would you want a new car or a new bass for birthday? Yes what? You don't want neither a car nor a guitar? Yes? No? Okay, you'll get a new sweater and a new tie then.

Geeeez, Sheena!! Why do you have to complicate things? "Yes" means you want them BOTH!!

"or" has little significance in the male world..........

That's what you call "woman's reason". Some of you, big, greasy, beer-drinking loud creatures, also say "woman's reason" is something non-existent.
She: Honey, do you like the way i look?
He: Yeah.
She: I think, maybe i'm not slim enough. Maybe i should lose some weight to become more attractive, what do you think?
He: Do as you will, honey.
She (calling on the phone, crying): Mommyyyyyyyyy, he called me a fat pig!!!!!

This is yet another reason why I love this forum. We always manage to create or end up with some sort of balance.

Thanks Sheena for giving us the other side of the coin to look at. Btw, my wife thought that the list was extremely funny and she said that she really liked No. 1.. ...and my oldest son took it to work to put on his bulletin board. Too funny.

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Too funny, and oh so true.... Gotta show this one to my husband. It seems that many times when we disagree it's because we're not really trying to see things from the other gender's point of view....

winston wrote:This is yet another reason why I love this forum. We always manage to create or end up with some sort of balance.

Thanks Sheena for giving us the other side of the coin to look at. Btw, my wife thought that the list was extremely funny and she said that she really liked No. 1.. ...and my oldest son took it to work to put on his bulletin board. Too funny.

Here in the States, if someone did that in a corporate workplace, someone else would probably feel offended and intiate a sexual harassment lawsuit, or something of that nature, due to the pervasive PC atmosphere that exists.

winston wrote:Thanks Sheena for giving us the other side of the coin to look at. Btw, my wife thought that the list was extremely funny and she said that she really liked No. 1.. ...and my oldest son took it to work to put on his bulletin board. Too funny.

Yep, that was really funny. Very funny. Especially when it comes to rule # 1.

Here in the States, if someone did that in a corporate workplace, someone else would probably feel offended and intiate a sexual harassment lawsuit, or something of that nature, due to the pervasive PC atmosphere that exists.

PC? I remember somebody here say (Paul Wilczynski, if i recall correctly), that such thing doesn't exist cause it has nothing to do with either P or C. Anyway, i always thought that this "PC case" was just a local joke about US.

With my medical background, "PC" refers is a subinguinal muscle group, one of particularly female concern that should not be discussed further here for fear of said discussion not being held to be Politically Correct in mixed company.....

I thought we were talking personal computers...

This thread is getting wackier by the minute!

I've found that generally people who are hung up on "political correctness" take themselves and life far too seriously.... they have forgotten how to laugh! It is the differences between men and women that make life interesting, funny, and.... fun (of course!) I, for one, am extremely grateful for the differences between men and women....

melibreits wrote:I've found that generally people who are hung up on "political correctness" take themselves and life far too seriously.... they have forgotten how to laugh! It is the differences between men and women that make life interesting, funny, and.... fun (of course!) I, for one, am extremely grateful for the differences between men and women....

Agreed on all points. As some say, "if we all were the same, life would be dull, and differences are the thing that makes life so special".