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George Carlin's Views on Aging:

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.

'How old are you?' 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key .

You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.

'How old are you?' 'I'm gonna be 16!' You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life . . You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony . YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!

But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.

But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!

So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.

You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30 ; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; 'I Was JUST 92.
Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. 'I'm 100 and a half!'
May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!

HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay 'them.'

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. 'An idle mind is the devil's workshop.' And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,but by the moments that take our breath away.



Great stuff!

Carlin is the MASTER! My fav stand up comedian ever, by far. He's just so quotable. Somethings don't need a set up. I quote him at least once a day.

That was great.

Carlin - one of the ultimate observers.....succinct and to the point. Thanks Jeff - I needed that.

You're only as old as the girl you feel.

FYI:
"If anyone e-mails you something "by George Carlin," there's a 99 percent chance I did not write it. I didn't write "Paradox Of Our Time." I didn't write "George Carlin On Aging." I didn't write a eulogy for my wife after she died. I didn't write the New Orleans thing. I didn't write "I Am A Bad American." None of them." George Carlin

"I didn't write the previous quote"--George Carlin.

Reminds me: I got an email from my brother yesterday. It said, "I'll send you an email tomorrow".

Well, I thought, OK...

This morning, I got an email. It said, "Please disregard yesterday's email."

So, apparently he sent me an email telling me that he was going to send me an email, then followed it up with an email telling me that he was not going to send me the email that he sent me telling me he was not going to send me an email after all.

Still a good theme on age, whoever wrote it.

My fav is where GC explains why the first thing we must do to control our kids, is to make them believe about that make believe guy in the sky who can see everything...

Some of that is legit. I've watched George's stand up multiple times. I remeber hearing him say some of that. Most the turning reaching hitting parts.

Went to a retirement party Friday night followed by a wedding Saturday for a good friends son Then a music friend of Steve's passed away on Sunday...I Have to Quit hanging around with old people....

Not old.... just seasoned...

Wine gets better with age, age gets better with wine.

shamustwin wrote:Wine gets better with age, age gets better with wine.

Ha! Tell that to my liver.

JimK

At least it's living - It even says it is. It's a liver.

My Grannie used to say"Many a good tune played from a old fiddle"
My Papa used to answer"Not many if you`ve a bent bow"