Your Australian Tourist Questions Answered

[jps]

Wouldn't you rather meet Donk?

[rickenbrother]

After reading Brent's post, I have to ask...can we have Ozfest 2010 in SoCal?

[antipodean]

The stick is only the second most useful thing ever?...What's the most useful thing ?

[longboard_ric]

Nice one Brent !!!

I'm surprised he didn't mention the Bunyip, they are heaps nastier than any wombat I've ever come across.

And only a couple of months ago a jogger was savagely assaulted by a kangaroo. It's true, he needed about 20 stitches !!!!

And he didn't mention stingrays or dingos either !!!

You should also be reminded that the Simpson Desert is closed this summer. See this http://www.theage.com.au/news/news/too- ... 95307.html
and be prepared to make alternative arrangements.

It also confirms my question to all tourists I meet : "What do you think is the strangest thing about Australia, apart from the people in it ?"

Kira, Crocodile Dundee or Paul Hogan, as he is known, lives a lot closer to you than me; in LA I believe. He does return here occasionally to put another shrimp on the barbie.

Joey, we can have Ozfest 2010 in SoCal if you want, but you have to come here and get us !!

If you are coming, study this carefully.

[bails]

* If you leave the urban areas, carry several litres of water with you at all times, or you will die.

I find it strange that a piece of such humerous writing also has such serious message hidden in the text, that I'm sure 99% of foreign readers think is part of the joke. As Shane points out above, the Police are sick of picking up the dried bodies of dead tourists in the Simpson Desert who don't realise what they were getting into.

There's roads in central Australia that are lucky to get one vehicle a month, so unless you are carrying nearly 200 litres of water per person (7 litres x 28 days) in your car, you better be bloody good at divining it!

Don't mean to bring the tone of this thread down, but having worked as both a beach and pool lifeguard for many years, it is really amazing to see the ratio of tourists to Australians who get plucked out the drink. That said the serious side of the dangers of Aus, is one of the things that make it so appealling to visit.

PS

Paul Hogan, as he is known, lives a lot closer to you than me; in LA I believe. He does return here occasionally to put another shrimp on the barbie

- He doesn't return here to pay his taxes though!

[carr]

You guys are killing me! :lol:I gotta get down there one of these days.

Do that and we will make a real job of it and dont forget to bring your Rics

Hey, if I come down there could I meet whatsizname, you know, Crocodile Dundee?

I dont know whatsizname but CD' s my best mate

J

[kiramdear]

I always get in trouble when I run into a Kiwi acquaintance and then try to use my Aussie slang.

Or conversely, would anyone be offended if I ask for a "tin o' p*ss"?

[carr]

douglas adams forgot...

When invited to a bbq , make like you are boarding a helicopter. Hills hoist clothes lines have the same effect as a rotor blade

When sitting down on a wizened tree stump, poke it first ( with your stick ) to make sure it isnt grandma taking a nap in the nude.

When picking up your stick , if it hisses it aint a stick

When leaving the shower, if your thongs dont squeak your underwear is on your foot. Like wise if you *** squeaks when you leave the shower you have your footwear up your ***.

J