Rickresource Rickenbacker Forum

Here's a rewrite of a song I recorded last year. I liked the first version, but I thought the bridge was a bit too out there, and prevented a second chorus from happening. So the new version is meant to be more straightforward. Here's both of 'em. Am I on the right track or the wrong one?

Lemonade: http://soundclick.com/share?songid=7918430


The old version: http://soundclick.com/share?songid=6680723

Thanks!

-Mark

New arrangement mo' bettah. But I like the drums better on the first one, and something about the vocal harmony part that starts "I used to drink" seems stronger on the first one, maybe a little more unified. All in all, though, number two gets my vote for the reason you mentioned that you did it. Works for me.

I’m torn. I like both. The newer is probably more commercially pleasing but the break in the orig is kinda cool in its own way – disjointed but still cool. The orig has a cool feel to it almost intimate. Give a half a vote to both.

Thanks Kira and Tom! Yeah, the more recent recording isn't done so well, but I think the leaner, quicker arrangement is probably the way to go. Still wrestling with this one. Thanks!

Interesting. I would have guess the "old version" as the newer, more developed mix. Not only is the production much better, but I actually like the little sidebar journey that the bridges goes on. I don't think it's too "disjointed" at all. I think it still holds the same vibe while adding dimension to the song overall. My vote is for the original.

one comment about the break - I get a feel to it like some of the old Beach Boys tunes... Good Vibrations? I don't think it's bad just different. So it's tied at 1.5 votes for each version.

Thanks Mark and Tom! Oh, the production on the second one is one of those very rough scratch mixes...I just wanted to see if the arrangement worked without the long bridge.

I personally like that bridge...but DON'T like missing out on swinging into the second chorus--that seems to seal the deal somehow. So I tried a simpler way. It's really hard to judge these things, because we always become biased by our first listen...and better is a really nebulous call sometimes. I think if I had written the simpler version first, I'd get a lot of feedback that the bridge was too much and unnecessary. I think the newer version would be easier to sell...and yet it is less challenging, for sure.

Thanks!