WORST HITS EVER RECORDED

rictified · Post by **rictified** » Wed Apr 20, 2005 1:52 pm

I told you John Fred was going to haunt you, way back at the beginning of this thread.

jwr2 · Post by **jwr2** » Thu Apr 21, 2005 3:59 pm

one of the Biblical signs the end of the world is near ... Britney Spears is having a baby ... God save us ...

jwr2 · Post by **jwr2** » Thu Apr 21, 2005 4:00 pm

but then maybe she will quit singing for a while ... but then again did she ever start singing?

brianb · Post by **brianb** » Thu Apr 21, 2005 6:29 pm

"We Built This City" and "Best of My Love" cause me to search for sharp objects

lastbroadcast · Post by **lastbroadcast** » Thu Apr 21, 2005 7:17 pm

"We Built This City" deserves a mention as well for having the most unintentionally hilarious music video ever. The singing statue of Abe Lincoln just does it.

jwr2 · Post by **jwr2** » Fri Apr 22, 2005 3:34 am

Muskrat Love

atomic_punk · Post by **atomic_punk** » Fri Apr 22, 2005 4:17 am

Jeff D, you mean the huge rolling dice in the video wasn't enough to elevate it to "Super-lame" status? That song is HORRIBLE, but the video is even worse.

lshaia · Post by **lshaia** » Fri Apr 22, 2005 4:46 am

Which version of Muskrat Love, America or the Captain and Tenille? They're both apalling, but for me the nod has to go to the Captain and Tenille for a)the weird synthesized rodent sounds, and b)in general recognition of the horribleness of their body of work.

Torn Between Two Lovers
Alone Again, Naturally

rictified · Post by **rictified** » Fri Apr 22, 2005 5:47 am

Muskrat Love, Captain and Tenille should take the number one prize, as the being the absolute worst hit single ever in the history of recorded music. And yes the rodent sounds are the what really puts it away for me.

We Built this city is really bad also.

randyz · Post by **randyz** » Fri Apr 22, 2005 8:03 am

Don't ask me who it was, but just last week I was reading someone's musical bio and saw that their biggest claim to fame was writing the arrangement for "We Built This City". I almost fell out of my chair! That's too funny.

jaybic · Post by **jaybic** » Fri Apr 22, 2005 12:51 pm

How do you get Toni Tenille?
Kick her in the back of the legs.

Seriously though folks - We Built This City has got to be right up there.

soundmasterg · Post by **soundmasterg** » Fri Apr 22, 2005 9:19 pm

Anything by The Offspring, but especially that obnoxious one that starts off with them saying "La la la la la la la la la la"...etc...one of the few songs where I immediately change the station even if I just woke up!

wayang · Post by **wayang** » Sat Apr 23, 2005 7:44 am

My goodness...leave you guys alone (again, naturally) for a week and you manage to compile the most comprehensive list of this kind I've ever encountered...not that there isn't room for more. I love to hate this stuff as much as the next guy, but I finally got to do something about it in 1983-84. It was my fifth 'season in the sun' working as a civilian field engineer in Antarctica...I teamed up with a welder from Penn. who had acquired the nickname 'Naked Head' (owing to an ongoing hereditary cranium-exposing condition) to become volunteer dj's at AFAN in McMurdo, the Navy-run local affiliate of Armed Forces Radio. (Imagine me, a long-haired, underfed leaping gnome...) 'The Naked and Dane Show' aired Wednesday's "from 6 to 9 on Hump Night" and was responsible for many firsts (and lasts) in the history of military entertainment (I'm pretty sure I'm the only one ever to play FZ's 'Black Napkins' on taxpayer sudsidized airtime)...but my favorite segment of each show, deep in the third hour (after the Captain's Phillipino houseboys had tucked him in for the night), was called 'Dane's 2-fer-1'...the station was so old-school that both turntables could be engaged at once and the resultant musical schmeer could be broadcast as one signal. What follows is a (by no means complete) list of some of my faves...some of the tunes are ones I love, used for their juxtapositioning power, but most are well-worn t*rds from the extensive AFAN vinyl library...

"Girls Just Wanna Begin the Beguine"
(Lawrence Lauper and Cindy Welk)

"Seasons in the Gadda Da Vida"
(Iron Jacks and Terry Butterfly)

"Watching Iron Man Grow"
(Ozzy Goldsboro and Bobby Osbourne)

(Thank God, I'm Screaming For Vengeance"
(Judas Denver and John Priest)

"I Can't Stop Lovin' You After The Lovin'"
(Englebert Jones and Tom Humperdinck)

"Run To The Walls"
(Iron Willy and Nelson Maiden)

"O Sole Mio By Myself"
(Luciano Idol and Billy Pavarotti)

"Make The World Go Tooth and Nail"
(Jim 'Dokken' Nabors)

"When Two Fools Go Bob-bob-bobbin' Along"
(Dean Rogers and Kenny Martin)

"Riders on The Unicorn"
(The Irish Doors)

...the list goes on, but you get the idea...if the 'titles' sound funny, you should hear 'the final mixes'...I have tapes of all of 'em...but my personal fave was:

"Thanks For The Machine Guns"
(Les Hendrix and Jimi Brown)

Take that, Adrian Cronhauer...

jwr2 · Post by **jwr2** » Sat Apr 23, 2005 9:55 am

Dane ... you have a future as a parody artist ... move over Weird Al ...

wayang · Post by **wayang** » Sat Apr 23, 2005 10:10 am

Thanks, Jeff...although I'm not quite as physically attractive as A.Y., so it might be a little harder for me to bust in to the biz...but I do have a great face for radio...

My motto is, if ya can't beat 'em, poke fun at em...