Guitarists can't live with em, can't live...

bigbajo60 · Post by **bigbajo60** » Sun Dec 18, 2005 11:24 pm

IMO, a guitarist must absolutely STINK to actually come close to sinking the gig for the whole band.

But a drummer?

*sigh*

Anybody ever play with a drummer who not only suffers from "time keeping deficiency", but feels compelled to play along with every little syncopation that occurs in the guitar, bass or vocal lines?

It ain't a picnic.

rick_ovic · Post by **rick_ovic** » Mon Dec 19, 2005 3:00 am

I'm primarily a guitarist, however I play bass and drums as well so I feel suitably qualified to see the discussion from all sides.

Keeping strings in tune as a guitarist has always been an important issue for me. I studied the mechanics of why my guitars went out of tune, learned a few tricks and applied them.

Digital tuners help, as does an A/B box to do everything in silence. Stretching new strings immediately after restringing is vital, as is changing them once they are worn or rusted. Having back-up guitars is essential if you're gigging and it's also a great excuse to play with your toys.

In one band I even had the luxury of my own guitar technician who loaded in, set up, tuned up and changed guitars for me during the set. That was very cool and I remember those days fondly (deep sigh).

Two weeks ago I attended the 20th anniversary gig of a band I was in during the late 80s. I took three guitars (all Rickenbackers)and thirty seconds into the first song the singer bumped my headstock, throwing the guitar's tuning out. Within fifteen seconds it had been replaced with guitar number two, which saw out the rest of the set.

It's not that hard to look and sound professional if you want to. The days of the audible two-minute guitar tune up should be well and truly over!

kbhag · Post by **kbhag** » Mon Dec 19, 2005 4:05 am

Here are two jokes I like.

How do you get a Guitar Player to turn down his amp? Put a piece of sheet music in front of him.

And:

How do you increase the aerodynamics of a drummer's car? Take off the Domino's pizza sign!

(Only jokes please no one take offense. FWIW, I also play guitar and some drums)

Funny Jokes thou!

jwr2 · Post by **jwr2** » Mon Dec 19, 2005 4:15 am

hahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!

bob_atherton · Post by **bob_atherton** » Mon Dec 19, 2005 4:44 am

Our guitarist is a great guy & a great player...but.... he also is pedal crazy! I must count them, but it must be at least eight!

At some gigs our singer, Sophie, gets a bit fueled up and leaps around the stage a bit and on many occasions has stepped on one of his pedals. Always good for a laugh!

He also plays Paul Reed Smiths, not sure of the axe count, but he has at least six!

kcole4001 · Post by **kcole4001** » Mon Dec 19, 2005 5:47 am

What do you call a guitar player who's just broken up with his girlfriend?
Homeless.

What do you call a guy who likes to hang out with musicians?
A drummer

What did the sound man get on his SAT's?
Drool

Just a joke!

jwr2 · Post by **jwr2** » Mon Dec 19, 2005 5:52 am

oh man those are good jokes ...

Actually I played with a really good drummer recently ... he was really smooth ... he could drop a stick and take all day to pick up another and never miss a beat ... plus he did a great beavis and butthead voice ...

dswp · Post by **dswp** » Mon Dec 19, 2005 5:54 am

How do you know a drummer is at your front door?

The knocking keeps on speeding up.

dswp · Post by **dswp** » Mon Dec 19, 2005 5:56 am

What's the difference between a drummer and a pizza?

A pizza can feed a family of four..

alanz · Post by **alanz** » Mon Dec 19, 2005 6:08 am

I solved these problems a long time ago; I only play with good musicians now.

Hee!

dminer · Post by **dminer** » Mon Dec 19, 2005 6:33 am

OK. How many Guitarist does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 20 - 1 to screw in the bulb and 19 to sit around saying, "Man, I could do it better than that!"

I've played with my fair share of great/idiot musicians who screwed up gigs and I just refuse to do that anymore...strike 2 and yer out or I'm out...I'm with a great group of folks now that show up on time...tune silently and quickly between songs, don't drink excessively or do drugs before or during gigs. We do have a rather loose weekly gig in which songs get started before all members are on stage, friends sit in all the time and we play songs that not everyone knows (and we've never rehearsed)...in fact we rarely rehearse at all and we work songs out on stage during slow periods or the last set...It's a blast!

Give the guitar player an ultimatem after you've lined up his replacement...then, if he doesn't immediately shape up FIRE HIM!

jwr2 · Post by **jwr2** » Mon Dec 19, 2005 8:07 am

Quote (How many Guitarist does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 20 - 1 to screw in the bulb and 19 to sit around saying, "Man, I could do it better than that!")

A truer statement has never been uttered!!!

ken_swearingen · Post by **ken_swearingen** » Mon Dec 19, 2005 8:35 am

How many Bodybuilders does it take to screw in a lightbulb ? Three! one to screw it in and the other two to say "your looking huge man" your looking huge"

blaire · Post by **blaire** » Mon Dec 19, 2005 9:02 am

what do you call a guitarist with no girlfriend?

blaire · Post by **blaire** » Mon Dec 19, 2005 9:04 am

HOMELESS