Taking replica relics too far?

rictified · Post by **rictified** » Mon Jul 24, 2006 7:20 pm

Yes relics are THE silliest, stupidest fad I have ever seen in my 40 years of playing. I wouldn't pay a penny for one and those prices are just nuts. Why anyone would want to buy a fake aged instrument just shows that some people will buy anything, or as PT Barnum said......

mfb · Post by **mfb** » Mon Jul 24, 2006 9:38 pm

Why anyone would want to buy a fake aged instrument

Well, maybe because if it is "relic'd" it won't matter how many more dings or scrapes you then may put on it? So you don't get that bout of panic, dismay and sinking feeling when you put that first ding on the shiny thing? A psychological panacea?

Similar to relic'd furniture.

As to the cost, it's going to take more time to do a great finish on it and then "carefully" "relic" it?

I think it's weird myself, but there you go.

wayang · Post by **wayang** » Tue Jul 25, 2006 6:18 am

I prefer to blow out the knees of my jeans myself, thanks...something that's occurred with monotonous repetition throughout my career.

Bony knees, y'see...

shamustwin · Post by **shamustwin** » Tue Jul 25, 2006 8:36 am

...'sides, on a do-it-yerself ding, you can point to each one with loving memories..."ah, yes, the headstock ding... Bob's Blues Barn....a hot and dusty night....fell off the stage, nicked a barstool on the way down...waitress helped me up and accidently knocked the glasses off her head with the headstock..." Much better to make'em yourself, IMHO.

jingle_jangle · Post by **jingle_jangle** » Tue Jul 25, 2006 8:53 am

How about:

The history of that Strat relic?

Yeah, that wear on top was Jess with a Black and Decker Palm Sander, using 3M 220 grit Aloxite, with a sweeping repetitive motion for exactly 18 seconmds and three passes.

The scratches on the headstock? Well, that was Jess' co-worker, Mel, with a double handful of 20-penny coated sinkers, part number 24-61020, courtesy of US Fasteners and Home Depot in Corona.

The grunge is Bill Bittner's custom blend of stale Cafe Du Mond black coffee, Camel Filter ashes, and Mrs. Butterworth's imitation maple syrup, applied with a SATA Mini Jet with a .5 nozzle set, run on 22 pounds pressure at the coupling. Bill has a real touch with this technique.

The belt buckle rash is actually a 2X4 that Ernie banged a dozen US Fastener 8d finishing nails into, and bent over. We toss this onto the back of the guitar and move it around. This particular guitar has Bill's patented "32-second treatment", judging from the amount of damage, er, mojo, it has.

The cigarette burns? Well, you don't expect me to tell you how we did those, do you? Trade secret, mate.

...That'll be sixty-five hundred, plus tax, sir...

Craftsmanship and tradition don't come cheap, you know.

randyz · Post by **randyz** » Tue Jul 25, 2006 9:20 am

Paul: Is that how it's done? I figured they handed a freshly completed guitar to a particularly clumsy drunk and then sent him through a darkened maze filled with obstacles (i.e. ball bearings on the floor, hot soldering irons suspended from the ceiling) in search of beer.

loendmaestro · Post by **loendmaestro** » Tue Jul 25, 2006 9:47 am

Nice one Paul!

jingle_jangle · Post by **jingle_jangle** » Tue Jul 25, 2006 11:21 am

Randy. It was that way, I'm sure, pre-unionization...

mfb · Post by **mfb** » Tue Jul 25, 2006 1:23 pm

Time is money.

I don't know about anybody else but in all honesty I cannot remember how the many dings and scratches on some of my very old instruments (even some relatively young ones) actually got there, and I've had all of them since new.

I guess most of them were done while I was using the guitars (pubs, clubs, outdoors, indoors, etc.) but I can't remember where and how - apart from belt buckle rash - they came about.

I mean, I normally play sober and all ...

rictified · Post by **rictified** » Tue Jul 25, 2006 2:59 pm

How about:

The history of that Strat relic?

That was a good one, haha!