FENDER CREATES LIMITED EDITION!!!

aceonbass · Post by **aceonbass** » Tue Aug 14, 2007 2:06 pm

I used to have a Pontiac TranSport mini van that I was seriously considering painting like the Partridge Family bus. The skin of the van is made out of plastic and I was gonna mask it off and shoot it with Krylon in my garage. My other half put the brakes on that one. Chicks are just no fun...sometimes.

jingle_jangle · Post by **jingle_jangle** » Tue Aug 14, 2007 3:19 pm

Those were designed at GM under an old friend's design management. He shall remain nameless, but he was also responsible for the last big Impalas (the squishy "white whales" of the early '90s).

At GM, the TranSport became known as the "Disneyland Monorail":

That's not all. The Ford Aerostar was called the "Dustbuster":

Then of course, there were those Sevilles and Lincoln sedans that looked like somebody kicked them in the a$$ as the door was closing...

sloop_john_b · Post by **sloop_john_b** » Tue Aug 14, 2007 3:30 pm

the last big Impalas (the squishy "white whales" of the early '90s).

(Or, in this case, a black whale.)

charlyg · Post by **charlyg** » Tue Aug 14, 2007 4:14 pm

I had to qualify to be able to drive the amatuer radio disaster comm truck a while back. We had to go to Pomona and do the same drill as the CHP. They had a bunch of "Shamus" (when painted black and white the resemblance is uncanny!), along with some of the older Chevy's. We got to drive the old ones (they kept plenty), as the folks there said none of the chippies liked the Shamus!

jingle_jangle · Post by **jingle_jangle** » Tue Aug 14, 2007 6:12 pm

The Shamu was actually developed and ready for production BEFORE the first-gen Ford Taurus. Chevy management hemmed and hawed on the sign-off, and eventually held off on releasing it until the 1990 model year, allowing Ford a nice head-start and, in fact, killing off their own market for a large family sedan/taxi/cop wagon.

aceonbass · Post by **aceonbass** » Tue Aug 14, 2007 6:32 pm

As I remember, the cops out here preferred the Chevy to the Ford for a number of reasons. The "A" pillars were easier to modify for the spotlights and associated clearance problems. The interior had a lot more space for their computer and guns & stuff. The car was also a LOT more powerful than the Crown Vics from Ford and could run down some serious speeders. I don't remember the numbers, but GM lost a ton of sales in this segment AFTER the car was discontinued, not before. Cops did not want a FWD police car even if it was going to have a 327 sideways under the hood. Incidently, the car's chassis dated back to 1977 and an error in designing the rear doors and quarter panels resulted in the rear wheels appearing to be too far forward in the rear wheel opening. It would not be politically correct to comment on the segment of the population that likes the cars now, except to say that they used to be found in the back of one.

jingle_jangle · Post by **jingle_jangle** » Tue Aug 14, 2007 6:52 pm

"...an error in designing the rear doors and quarter panels resulted in the rear wheels appearing to be too far forward in the rear wheel opening."

Nope. It is called, "designing to package", and it would have cost something like $35 million to redo the floorpan for a more attractive wheel location. The floorpan did date to the square Impala of '77, which had a longer trunk and more upright "C" pillar, both of which features worked with the rear axle where it was. Then my friend's studio got handed a package and a theme that ended up with a steeply-raked "C" pillar coupled with a shortish rear deck (compared to the '77s).

Not FWD cop cars (Taurus), as they simply could not stand up to pursuit and daily abuse. Instead, former GM-faithful PDs defected to Crown Vics in droves in the mid-'80s. Those are the sales I'm referring to. You're right about the after-discontinuation loss, too, Dane.

I used to visit GM Tech Center regularly in the '80s and early '90s; talk about insulation/isolation. You would have never thought the company was in trouble. Same old faces every day in the white linen/silver/crystal Executive Dining Room, still smiling, proud and arrogant. The old guard are STILL this way, although ther numbers are diminishing due to retirement.

aceonbass · Post by **aceonbass** » Tue Aug 14, 2007 7:02 pm

Probably a good thing too, but ya just can't beat the days when GM had 50% of the market in California and were prohibited by law from having any more. Now we have so many cheap imports, which is a good thing considering the fact that we have a lot more people in lower income brackets now because we no longer build so many things here in this country anymore. Okay...stepping down off of my soapbox now.

j_gary · Post by **j_gary** » Tue Aug 14, 2007 7:24 pm

From 1981 through 1986, I was in the Police business full time. From 86 till now, I've work part time for a small suburban Detroit department.

I have spent considerable time humping around in a varied collection of patrol vehicles. By far my favorite was the old Caprice. It was roomy, comfortable, fast and was a great handling beast. I was driving a 77 Corvette back then, and I vividly remember jumping into the Vette after a day in the Caprice and thinking the patrol car was much more stable and reassuring at speed. They were built like tanks when push came to shove. I loved the old beast's.

Bought a retired old warrior for $300 and drove it for years. A drunk driver plowed into it while it was parked in the driveway. She killed his car as she went down. Driving a $300 Caprice is a good way to find out if your date likes you for your charming personality. Helped keep me single.

dale_fortune · Post by **dale_fortune** » Tue Aug 14, 2007 8:55 pm

Speaking of cars and cops:
A Texas senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette
convertible out of the
dealership.

Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph,
enjoying the wind
blowing through what little hair he had left.

"Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-40, pushing
the pedal even more.

Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw the state
trooper behind him,
blue lights flashing and siren blaring.

He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly
he thought,
"What am I doing? I'm too old for this," and pulled
over to await the
trooper's arrival.

Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the
Corvette, looked
at his watch and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30
minutes. Today is
Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that
I've never heard
before, I'll let you go."

The old gentleman paused. Then said, "Years ago, my
wife ran off with a
Texas State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her
back."

"Have a good day, Sir."

markbass99 · Post by **markbass99** » Wed Aug 15, 2007 1:23 am

I had a 1996 Impala in jetglo that I bought brand new, it had the floor shifter, analog gauges and LT1 engine. Very cool car with lots of power and interior space, unfortunately wife #2 got it in the divorce.(I kept the mustang though, woo hoo!)

aceonbass · Post by **aceonbass** » Wed Aug 15, 2007 3:59 am

I don't know. Depends on what year Mustang.

j_gary · Post by **j_gary** » Wed Aug 15, 2007 8:22 am

Dale, that old timer would have to run over my Mom while she was carrying my Lemmy before I would bother him. That is a great reason to run!

johnallg · Post by **johnallg** » Wed Aug 15, 2007 9:30 am

Cop to teenage driver he pulled over: "Son, I've been waiting all day for you to come by!"

Teenager: "Officer, I got here as fast as I could!"

Of course he let him go!

paologregorio · Post by **paologregorio** » Tue Sep 25, 2007 8:54 am

Dale, that joke was so funny that I laughed until it hurt.

Regarding the Shelby Strat(?): WHY?!

It would be much cooler to redo another batch of the MOTO Strats, a Hank Marvin Strat, a Dick Dale Strat, a "Rocky" George Harrison Strat, hell, even a small peghead Yngwie Strat( his new sig model has the big peghead-yeuch!) over that thing....