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jps
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Windows automobile

Post by jps »

For all   of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way  computers  have enhanced our lives, read on.

At a recent  computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly  compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated:
"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has,  we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press  release stating:
“If GM had developed technology like  Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the  following characteristics”.

1. For no  reason whatsoever, your car would crash........
Twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you  would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die  on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the  road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen  the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply  accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left  turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which  case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights  would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal  Operation" warning light.

6. The  airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

7.  Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and  refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle,  turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

8. Every  time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive  all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same  manner as the old car.

9. You'd have to press the "Start" button  to turn the engine off.
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rickenbrother
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Re: Windows automobile

Post by rickenbrother »

Good thing GM and Microsoft do not directly collaborate on a product or who knows what would happen! :shock:
JETGLO should officially be renamed JETGLO ROCKS! :-)
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ozover50
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Re: Windows automobile

Post by ozover50 »

Taking all of the above into account, my car must be a collaboration!! Next time I'm gonna look for a car with some Apple in it! :roll: :roll:
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winston
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Re: Windows automobile

Post by winston »

Too funny. The irony is that GM finally got something right.
“We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.” - Albert Einstein

"You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother" - Albert Einstein
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ken_j
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Re: Windows automobile

Post by ken_j »

ozover50 wrote:Taking all of the above into account, my car must be a collaboration!! Next time I'm gonna look for a car with some Apple in it! :roll: :roll:
Actually our new radios can link up with your Apple ipod.:mrgreen:
"The best things in life aren't things."
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firstbassman
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Re: Windows automobile

Post by firstbassman »


Sorry, FALSE!

This is just about the oldest urban legend on the Internet:



http://www.snopes.com/humor/jokes/autos.asp
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jingle_jangle
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Re: Windows automobile

Post by jingle_jangle »

jps wrote:For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated:
"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating:
“If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics”.

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash........
Twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.

6. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

7. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

8. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

9. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.
Not too recent...I received it in an email back in 2002. But still a good chuckle. <ducks and runs, loses hat in fracas>
shamustwin
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Re: Windows automobile

Post by shamustwin »

firstbassman wrote:
Sorry, FALSE!

This is just about the oldest urban legend on the Internet:



http://www.snopes.com/humor/jokes/autos.asp

I thought that was too clever to be put out by the folks who made SAABs look generic.
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doctorwho
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Re: Windows automobile

Post by doctorwho »

Thanks, Mark, I tried to find it on BreakTheChain.org, but couldn't find it - too old a chain, maybe!
It is better, of course, to know useless things than to know nothing. - Seneca
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1965
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Re: Windows automobile

Post by 1965 »

The funny thing is that BMW's first iDrive system was Windows based.
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johnallg
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Re: Windows automobile

Post by johnallg »

1965 wrote:The funny thing is that BMW's first iDrive system was Windows based.
Now that's a scarry thought! :shock:
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sharkboy
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Re: Windows automobile

Post by sharkboy »

Having just gone to work for "those guys" (today was my first day!), they actually are providing technology in lots of cars.

I think the spirit of the original joke was largely correct (I thought I'd seen it waaay back when I worked at Apple), but never assumed that it was factually correct.
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1965
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Re: Windows automobile

Post by 1965 »

johnallg wrote:
1965 wrote:The funny thing is that BMW's first iDrive system was Windows based.
Now that's a scarry thought! :shock:
The funny thing, if I remember right, is that if the system crashed you would actually get the Windows startup screen. Imagine the horror of seeing Windows crash in the dash of your brand new Bimmer
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