ADVICE FOR YANKEES MOVING TO THE SOUTH

[jdogric12]

That's close, Jerry, but close only counts in horseshoes, hand grenades, and slow dancing!

[tamborineman]

In Michigan everything south of Dearborn is occupied by Tennesee Volleteers

[shamustwin]

Tarnation!

[jingle_jangle]

10. The monitor is up on blocks.

9. Outgoing faxes have tobacco stains on them.

8. The six front keys have rotted out.

7. The extra expansion slots have Dodge truck parts installed in them.

6. The numeric keypad only goes up to six.

5. The password is "Bubba".

4. There is a gun rack mounted on the CPU.

3. There is a Skoal can in the CD-ROM drive.

2. The keyboard is camouflaged.

AND the number 1 reason is...

1. The mouse is referred to as a "critter".

[rickenbrother]

8. Remember: "Y'all" is singular. "All y'all" is plural. "All y'all's" is plural possessive.

Thanks for clearing that one up for me'all.

[joepee]

I usually don't trust many folks from above the Macon/Dallas Line. I just try to hold down the the Third Coast here in San Antonio. Does anyone really remember the Alamo? I am relatively sophisticated for a Texan. I took fencing in college...Barbed wire and chainlink.

Paul W. is different because he lived in Brasil, a sister county south of the border.

[jingle_jangle]

I have a house and some land in Brasil's equivalent of the Deep South, except there, it's in the Northeast! In Brasil, Northeasterners (Nordestanos) are often the butt of jokes and can be discriminated against in "the" ciities of Sao Paulo and Rio, held apart by their accents, which (incidentally) is much closer to true Portuguese than the slang accents of the Cariocas and Paulistas.

Just as we Northerners here in the USA celebrate Southern music (Delta blues, country, hillbilly, and a dozen or more regionally-centered musical vernaculars, the residents of Rio and Sao Paulo are quite fond of Northeastern musical forms, like forró (which started in my city, Natal), frevo, and axé (pronounced ah-SHAY). In the Northeast, the piano accordion is still in style. Salvador, Bahia is the center of Brasil's former slave culture; a very black city and the most musical in all Brasil. Incidentally, Brasil freed all of its slaves exactly 120 years ago this week.

[wmthor]

21. Don't get your hopes up if the cute waitress calls you "Honey". She calls every customer "Honey."

[johnallg]

22. Incest is relative.

[ben_brown]

22. Incest is relative.

I'm my own cuzin'!

[johnallg]

22. Incest is relative.

I'm my own cuzin'!

Nice maple in your avatar!

[alanz]

I take my passport anytime I go east of San Bernardino.

[wmthor]

I take my passport anytime I go east of San Bernardino.

A friend of mine from Las Cruces, New Mexico was actually asked for his passport during a traffic stop in a small Alabama town. He said the officer, who looked like he was 18 or 19, radioed headquarters only to find out that no passport was required because New Mexico was part of the USA. When all was said and done my friend received a warning instead of a ticket.

[jps]

I would have strongly suggested the officer go back to high school and take remedial Geography!

[johnallg]

Why am I not surprised?