ADVICE FOR YANKEES MOVING TO THE SOUTH

[qwezirider]

22. Incest is relative.

Hey now...that stuff goes on in my wife's side of the family...in Nebraska! We Southerners aren't holding any franchise on that concept.

[jingle_jangle]

We now have sightings in Nebraska, Oklahoma, and Riverside and Bakersfield Counties, California.

(How else can you explain Buck Owens?)

[lennon211]

Having grown in what is considered the northern part of the South, I can attest that much of what passes for the advice, is true. What I find the most humorous about it all is this: the deep South makes fun of states north of them for being more "primative" while the northern part of the South goes right back at them. Most know that they all have incredibly bad reputations, but no one wants to be the worst...although I hear very little defense being put up by Arkansas.

Oh...a few more bits of advice.

1. Draw out your pronunciation of the pronoun "I". It should sound like a combination of "I" and "ahhhh". Do this and you're on the fast track. Combine this with "y'all" for best results.

2. Regarding your car: You must put something up that covers the entire back window. A gun rack doesn't count here. It must be an American flag or Confederate flag. Also acceptible is a bald eagle. It must cover the entire back window whether or not it still maintains visibility.

3. Know where the local Wal-Mart Super Center is. They're great for people watching, as long as you're not too obvious. These places are like bug lights for Southerners: they draw them in as soon as the lights are visible and often don't let go.

4. Know your whiskey. It's practically sacrilege to drink Jack Daniels in Kentucky. You must drink a bourbon, which only comes from Kentucky. Anything else, regardless of being a sour-mash (smells and tastes just like bourbon) doesn't count. Most are readily accepted elsewhere though.

[qwezirider]

We now have sightings in Nebraska, Oklahoma, and Riverside and Bakersfield Counties, California.

(How else can you explain Buck Owens?)

There went that keyboard.

[jingle_jangle]

True. #4 actually happened to me in Arkansas...I've got the pictures to prove it. #5 was near my house in rural VA.

[qwezirider]

I lived in Middle Tennessee for nearly 18 years, so #5 was a very regular thing for me to frequent...uh...I mean see.

[jwargowski]

I had the "unique pleasure" of living in Raleigh, NC for a few years - it was definitely an eye opening experience in many ways for a Wisconsin born, California transplant such as myself. Here's my list.

Yes, almost anything can be and is deep fried (twinkies, snickers, pickles ...) - a trip to the state fair confirmed that fact. Confederate flags are still completely acceptable as adornments to automobiles, houses and skin. Racism, discrimination and segregation are alive and well. (as it is everywhere, it's just a little more obvious there) Ya'll is actually a very useful word, but just never sounds right coming from the mouth of a northerner. Never let a glass of sweet tea sit for more than a few hours, unless you really want to see how much sugar goes into it. Changing your shirt twice a day is a normal activity (or should be)and It can be humid even in 30 degree weather. Tobacco is still a cash crop.

On the other hand, most bar bands there could outplay any band plying their trade here on the Sunset strip. Molasses is the best condiment for cornbread. Swimming in the warm Atlantic has it all over the cold, cold Pacific. Collard greens are actually very tasty. You can actually own a nice house with property for less than $200k somewhere in the US. Despite what I was taught in school "The War of Northern Aggression" was about much more than slavery, and people would probably react the same way today if government troops came to your town and started stealing your possessions and raping your wives.

I lived just south of a suburb called Cary - which the locals like to say was an acronym for "Containment Area for Relocated Yankees", but I had some very interesting native neighbors to say the least, but it was ultimately the weather and the economy that sent me back to CA. I don't regret my time there at all.

[qwezirider]

Despite what I was taught in school "The War of Northern Aggression" was about much more than slavery, and people would probably react the same way today if government troops came to your town and started stealing your possessions and raping your wives.

Tours of some of the smaller battle fields and museums (i.e., those that are not national parks and such) can offer very eye opening perspectives to the whole mess.

[fargobass]

As to the proper use of "y'all":

When I was in grad school at LSU in Baton Rouge, I had to prove reading comprehension in two languages other than English, so I took a couple of seminars in the Languages Departments (one in German, one in Latin). The Latin Professor (a California native) told us that "y'all" was the South's great contribution to the English language. All of the Romance languages (French, Italian, Spanish, Portugese, Rumanian, and their parent language, Latin), have a way to distinguish the singular from the plural in all three person forms, but in English, we don't have a way to distinguish the second person. For example, in English, the first person is "I" or "We"; in the third person, it's "He/She" or "They", but in the second person, there's no way to distinguish "you" and "You", except, of course, if you use "Y'all". Thus the South's great contribution to English grammar.

Note: I was born in the Upper Midwest, and raised in the mid-Atlantic (Pennsylvania, New Jersey, and Long Guy-land in NY). I use "y'all" in class all the time (I'm a college professor in Moorhead, Minnesota), and my students (almost all of whom are from northwestern Minnesota or North/South Dakota) look at me funny, until I explain that even a Professor of Classical Languages from California has given approval to use of that great Southern invention

[jingle_jangle]

That's great, except "y'all" is also non-specific as to singular or plural.

Hence the introduction of "all y'all" as a plural form (by Bubba Y. Beauregard, in Stone Mountain GA, at 6:10 am on June 13, 1947, while herding his flea circus).

[fargobass]

That's great, except "y'all" is also non-specific as to singular or plural.

Hence the introduction of "all y'all" as a plural form (by Bubba Y. Beauregard, in Stone Mountain GA, at 6:10 am on June 13, 1947, while herding his flea circus).

I must have lived in the wrong part of the South - I never heard it used as singular in Louisiana, although now that I think about it, when we lived in Spotsylvania County, Virginia, for two years, I did hear it used as singular occasionally, but I always assumed that the offender was a Yankee transplant who didn't know any better.

[jimk]

My brother-in-law's wife is from Texas, if that counts. And I believe she uses "y'all" as a plural for "you." I'll have to pay more attention next time I visit.

Incidentally, English used to have a second person plural for the familiar; "ye." I wonder why it got dropped.

JimK

[jps]

It is truly amazing what one can learn from a forum dedicated to Rickenbacker instruments!

So see all y'all @ RIO!!! in a few weeks.

[jingle_jangle]

That's great, except "y'all" is also non-specific as to singular or plural.

Hence the introduction of "all y'all" as a plural form (by Bubba Y. Beauregard, in Stone Mountain GA, at 6:10 am on June 13, 1947, while herding his flea circus).

I must have lived in the wrong part of the South - I never heard it used as singular in Louisiana, although now that I think about it, when we lived in Spotsylvania County, Virginia, for two years, I did hear it used as singular occasionally, but I always assumed that the offender was a Yankee transplant who didn't know any better.

Mark, I lived in Albemarle County about 20 years ago. That's also where I heard it used as singular. And "all y'all", although I've heard it used as plural (by a farm boy from...Idaho...who was a student of mine), could also be a regional delicacy, like crayfish/crawfish etouffé.

[fargobass]

Mark, I lived in Albemarle County about 20 years ago. That's also where I heard it used as singular. And "all y'all", although I've heard it used as plural (by a farm boy from...Idaho...who was a student of mine), could also be a regional delicacy, like crayfish/crawfish etouffé.

That's very possible. One thing I learned in south Louisiana is that Southerners don't like to be thought of as all part of a single culture (although your original list of 20 pieces of "advice" still rings true, I think, in most of the South, most of the time). My office-mate at LSU was from "Nooorth'un Alabama" - one of the funniest arguments I ever witnessed was between him and a guy from East Texas, debating the proper ingredients, and the proper method, for preparing "barbeque". It went on for just short of three hours, and almost erupted in fisticuffs twice.

Shoot - you had to mention crawfish etouffee - now I'm hungry.