Worst Commercial Songs

[whojamfan]

That "JG Wentworth" opera commercial is excruciating to listen to. My stepdaughter is in the Navy in Guam, and when she comes home that commercial is on nonstop. I often send her emails mentioning that song, and she sends emails back mentioning things I can't on this forum.

If you ever want to really mess with someone, quitely sing the old "Meow Mix" jingle, and they will have it looped in their brains for days

[jingle_jangle]

Or whistle the old Andy Griffith theme song...

especially around Ron Howard...

[brammy]

If I hear that "Free Credit Report" commercial one more time I'll freak. Horrible Horrible Horrible Horrible
Horrible comeercials?.....Canada has come out with a whole series of ones like this....

[cheyenne]

Sheena I love your avatar.

[cheyenne]

Damn Kent, thats just disturbing!

[jingle_jangle]

That is pornography. It would mess up any kid viewing it. NUTS. I'd like to put the b*st*rds who made it and OKd it in the slammer!

[atomic_punk]

Brammy, we get that one in the US too on CBC (which I religiously DVR Hockey Night in Canada on so I can watch when I get back from gigs!) HORRIFIC!

[captsandwich]

There's one where a guy gets blown off a building because he uses faulty equipment. I always laugh at the part where he bounces off the hood of a truck.
Maybe there's something wrong with me.
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PS: it was shot just down the street from my house.

[86kubicki]

"Pornography" might be a bit strong, but Canadian television has a long history of graphic public safety commercials. I remember a whole series from my childhood of various people being accidentally electrocuted. There was also a series involving a robot dodging swinging buzzsaws and eventually getting his arm sheared off. Fortunately exposure to these ads has had no effect on my psyche, (although like Greg, I do find it funny when the guy bounces off the truck - hmmm...).


P.S. Have you seen our cigarette packs?

[wayang]

I worked for a few years with ironworkers and welders, up on the 'red iron'...their phrase for that kind of 'incident' is 'goin' in the hole'. There's the iron, and everything else is 'the hole'...like they say: "fifty feet or fifty stories: the only difference is an open or closed casket." One year, we got forwarded a story about a guy working on a high rise in Florida...he was walking with a full sheet of plywood across an open floor about 20 stories up...got hit with a blast of wind and blown 'into the hole'. He hung on to the plywood, and fell about 3 floors when the wind suddenly blew him back into the building. The guys on our crew all joked about how the guy would've had to have been given the rest of the day off...they weren't going to get much work out of him at that point, and he was definitely going to need a change of underwear.

I must say, these Canadian workplace commercials have one thing going for them...in much the same way as ****** commercial jingles, they are memorable. I doubt anyone who's seen either of those two ads would ever carry a big pot of boiling water or fire up the torch while thinking about anything else. While I agree with Paul W. in principle about the imagery being a bit brutal for kids, I'm afraid the average kid these days has seen (and 'interacted' with) far more brutal imagery than that in their video 'games'...

Of course, if it were me producing that second ad, I'd go for something more positive, helpful and 'uplifting', a job site tip that applies to nearly all ironworkers at one point or another: "Hung over first thing in the morning on the job site? Take a hit of your cutting torch's oxygen hose..."

[captsandwich]

P.S. Have you seen our cigarette packs?

[brammy]

I'm afraid the average kid these days has seen (and 'interacted' with) far more brutal imagery than that in their video 'games'..

Gotta agree with you there, Dane... and THAT is also very disturbing.

[brammy]

I kinda like this one....

and I have NO idea what this one is advertising...

[wayang]

I've been doing some thinking about the J.G.Wentworth ad campaign, and while I may not be a marketing expert, I believe I've come up with a couple of sure-fire ideas that will boost their profits...and isn't that what it's all about?

First, that phone nomber...it's catchy enough, I guess, but it doesn't really hit home regarding what it is they actually do...so I propose a change...to 877-CASH COW...I think that explains things much more effectively...

Next, a lyrical rewrite of that jingle is in order. Some small handful of people may be having difficulties converting their annuities, but many more potential customers are grappling with far more serious real-world problems...here are a few lines off the top of my head to illustrate what I mean...to economize on typing, I'll ask you to supply the ending for each stanza with the phrase "need a cash cow' in your heads. Here we go:

"I am a shopaholic and I...
I have a drinking problem so I...
My girlfriend is a junkie and I...
My mortgage rates went up and now I...
My crack pipe burned the house down and I...
The stupid condom broke, therefore I...
I just squeezed out octuplets, now I...
We paid retention bonuses, now we...
My horse came in dead last and so I...
I prefer to drive a Hummer and I...
I used up all my food stamps and I...
My dealer just 're-upped' and now I...
I am a 'Starbucks' addict so I...
I insist on wearing Prada and I...
I got a job at Walmart so I...
I dealt with Bernie Madov, now I..."

As usual, I could go on and on...but here's one more just to bring it a little 'closer to home':

"I saw a 'Rick' on ebay so I..."