All-time favorite quotes

[jingle_jangle]

"I never drink water. Fish f**k in it..."

--W.C. Fields

[kiramdear]

Thanks, Mark, for bringing Dorothy Parker into the discussion, who is easily the most quotable woman who ever lived. Her are some more of her best lines:

• Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.

• Four be the things I'd have been better without:
Love, curiosity, freckles and doubt.

• I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.

• Take care of luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.

• Salary is no object; I want only enough to keep body and soul apart.

• The two most beautiful words in the English language are 'cheque enclosed.'

• If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.

• The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.

• It serves me right for keeping all my eggs in one bast#rd.

• All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.

• Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.

• Scratch a lover, and find a foe.

• People are more fun than anybody.

• I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
after four I'm under my host.

• I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.

• You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.

• If all the young ladies who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, no one would be the least surprised.

[godber]

Those are brilliant Kira.

[kiramdear]

I just discovered the "God's opinion of money" quote is not hers, but frequently credited to her.

Oh, and her reaction to finding out that Coolidge had died: "How do they know?"

[whojamfan]

Great quotes Kira!

[kiramdear]

Thanks Mark for making me think of her and her fan site for providing the quotes. And thank the immortal Dorothy Parker who wanted her tombstone to read, "Pardon My Dust".

[godber]

Clever stuff though, twisting the ordinary into the extraordinary - "keeping all my eggs.." is genius.

Talking of tombstones

Spike Milligan - " I told you I was ill" - http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/sout ... 742443.stm

[godber]

I just discovered the "God's opinion of money" quote is not hers, but frequently credited to her.

Oh, and her reaction to finding out that Coolidge had died: "How do they know?"

Strange synchronicity - that was mentioned in a conversation at work today.

[godber]

A few I like -

"If I had all the money I've spent on drink, I'd spend it on drink" - Sir Henry Rawlinson (aka the pen of Vivian Stanshall)

From Carry-On Screaming
Valeria Watt: 'What's your name?'
Det Sgt Bung: 'Bung, Sidney Bung.'
Valeria Watt: 'Bung bung bung! It's such a fitting name...' - Fenella Fielding

From Carry-On Cleo
"Infamy! Infamy! they've all got it in for me!" - Kenneth Williams

[kiramdear]

The bung one cracks me up.

[godber]

One more drinking one from a good friend of mine as a response to a "cheap beer" promotion in a local pub - "Excellent - the more you drink, the more you save."

[kiramdear]

There's some drinker's logic for you

Several towns across the country have claimed this as their motto: "A quaint little drinking village with a fishing problem".

[godber]

[godber]

I love Eeyore. And this one kind of fits here on this forum (in the spirit of friendly competition).

"It's much better than mine" said Pooh admiringly, and he really thought it was.
"Well", explained Eeyore modestly, "it was meant to be".

[kiramdear]

Dorothy Parker (back to her) had a book review column for years at The New Yorker which was titled "Constant Reader". Here's a line from her review of "Winnie The Pooh":

"... the word "hummy" marks the first point in the story at which Tonstant Weader fwowed up."