Letting Your Kids Use Your Guitars

[Chrome Aardvark]

My partners 16 year-old son is a pretty good player and enjoys coming over to our place and using my guitars. He usually uses my MIJ Jazzmaster, but lately he's taken a bit of a shine to my '67 335. The problem is that he isn't the most careful of kids, so far he's cracked the top pick guard and somehow bent one of the shafts on a Kluson tuner. I want to encourage him to play, but I don't my gear getting trashed, so it's back to the Jazzmaster for him for the time being. Just wondering if anyone else is going through the process of letting kids use their guitars and how you are coping with it.

[DriftSpace]

Whether it's kids or "adult" friends who are also musicians: over the years it has seemed to me that people generally don't care about things they don't own. I've let people borrow guitars, pedals, and amps; when it's time to replace a tube, get new strings, or fix a pedal: most people don't step-up and say: "this happened while I was using it, so I will contribute or pay for the damage/repair/replacement," and it's been like pulling teeth to even come to an agreement where they split the cost with me.

I still let friends and (very rarely) students borrow gear from me, but what I am willing to loan has decreased dramatically over the years; I only lend things about which I wouldn't care if they were damaged, lost, and/or stolen. The bassist in my band (one of my best friends) used my 1982 4003 exclusively for about 5 years until I told him -- after years of watching him beat the **** out of it, let it get filthy, and him letting the electronics go-out -- that he either had to buy it from me or not use it anymore; he bought it.

I think you have your answer already; if the kid hasn't demonstrated that he can respect your instrument, which you are loaning him out of kindness: he forfeits that privilege, and letting that behavior persist won't help him learn to respect other people's things, much less his own. I'd be up-front if I were you, and don't let him walk all over you, because once you set that precedent -- where you're a pushover who doesn't hold him responsible for damage and neglect -- then it will snowball pretty quickly. Make your standards and expectations clear; be clear that you want to support his musicianship, but that it's difficult to do so when don't feel like he appreciates the magnitude of your gesture by respecting your gear. Don't say you don't care about the damage, either; you wouldn't be posting here or detailing specific damage if you didn't. Even if you didn't care though: that's not the point; the point is learning to be respectful and responsible, and this is a great opportunity to teach that.

I have little ones, and I bought them their own instruments. If they break them: that's a lesson about taking care of equipment, which will further be reinforced by them watching me care for mine, and seeing -- in the event that they ruin their stuff -- the virtues of me maintaining mine.

[stringsncords]

Simple.

If your guitar is a well-played beater, and you don't mind if it's dropped, dinged, or scratched, OK. Then, let your friends' son play it.

But f you value your guitar's condition, then no one plays it except you; let the young man's parents get him his own guitar.

Period.

No one can take advantage of you without your permission.

[IHeartRics]

Well said Sean.

Even if the instrument is a beater, one should still teach young musicians care and respect for the instrument. Though a tool is well used, a good mechanic doesn't leave it out in the rain or out of the tool box.

I recently restored a 1920-1930 banjo ukulele and my daughter has immediately taken a shine to it. It makes me quite proud how far she has progressed and her desire to play. However, I'd find it on the floor in her room or leaning by the heat register (ugh!) instead of being placed back in the stand. She has been requesting her own ukulele and I explained that she needs to show me that she is responsible for the proper care and treatment of an instrument. She has and last night she got her wish. This morning I found her new ukulele is properly stored. She even named it!

[Chrome Aardvark]

Thanks guys. Raph, the kid in question, doesn't actually get a free ride. He's copped a bit from both me and his mother (my partner) over his handling of my guitars. He's got a part-time job now and is saving up for his first "expensive" guitar. I think he'll learn a few things once he's got it in his hands and his friends want to play round with it.

I really started this post more because I was interested to hear how everyone deals with their own children playing round with their gear, rather than for advice. But hey, it's all good.

On a side note, I've lent a lot of gear out to friends when they've been recording and have only ever had one bad experience. In the long run, it's better that they are played than sitting dormant in a case on top of a shelf.

[jdogric12]

Great teaching opportunity!

The nice thing about 2014 vs 1967 is that you don't have to go "expensive" (relatively speakin') to get a guitar that plays well.