I found this entertaining piece on Martin Newell's website. Martin is a favorite jangly singer/songwriter who just recently bought his first Rick 12-string. He used to get by borrowing them for recording sessions. He starts out with a mention of Paul before heading off into uncharted regions. Enjoy:
After all of the tears shed over Paul and Heather's Anti-Fur Campaign, a tragic setback! The support vehicle taking the luxury hampers for customers enjoying Ms B's Proper Old Fashioned Country Tours By Bicycle --not a catchy name, but it ensures a better class of visitor-- has crashed. Worse though, the vehicle crashed into a hapless minotaur grazing carelessly in a sylvan grove. We had to spend a fortune on finding a vet who specialised in treating mythical creatures, but alas, the poor creature was in shock and had to be put down by a cherub firing silver-tipped arrows.More expense! We still don't know whether to forward the vet's invoice to The Arts Council or The British Archaological Trust. And there's no question of us claiming it as roadkill and selling it on to a reputable dealer in organic mythological meats. At least not after the last occasion, when Ms B tried to cook the remains of a Gryphon, she'd accidentally shot and was fined by a hundred pounds by MAFF.
One good thing has come out of this misfortune, however. There in the grove, standing about six feet high, almost hidden by sticky weed and overgrown hedgerow oak was a strange and dilapidated structure made of wooden planking, supported by latticed metal struts. I took the opportunity, whilst the vet was briefing the minotaur's cherub executioner, to explain to Ms B's clients, what this curious structure was.
In the mid-1960s an eccentric gentleman bought the nearby estate, Witney Grange, with its huge house and many outbuildings. That spring, local schoolboys took to visiting the place, where he would give them gardening jobs and ply them with Dandelion and Burdock soft drinks. It transpires he was interested in robotics and related sciences and soon, with the boys' assistance, he had constructed a small regiment of mechanical soldiers --initially about two hundred of them in all. Each soldier was about three feet high, capable of firing a small pellet machine-gun, and barking orders in a curiously high-pitched tinny voice. For some strange reason, Mr Mason, the gentleman concerned, had developed something of an obsession with German soldiers of World War 2. It being only two decades after the war itself, some said that Mr Mason's obsession was to do with his having been in a P.O.W. camp. Others though, claimed that he'd lost his wits because of a woman and had spent the war languishing in a secure institution.
With the help of his schoolboys, Mr Mason's miniature Wehrmacht, became a a formidable and well-trained mechanical force and the strange sound of a thousand tinny voiceboxes, chanting militaristic Tyrolean melodies over the fields on summer nights, became a source of disturbance to local farmers. The council asked Mr Mason to disband his mechanical force but he refused. A destruction warrant was obtained and a small team of military scientists were moved to Wivenhoe from London, in order to create an air force of miniature fighter-bombers with tiny robotic pilots to combat Mr Mason's threat to the countryside. During the first two weeks of July of 1965, a dramatic siege took place, during which time the council's miniature air-force fought a fierce and valiant battle against Mr Mason's Miniature Wehrmacht, finally defeating them on the 17th of that month. It was said that the sky was lit up by the explosions and the noise could be heard as far away as Frating. After that, Mr Mason's Wehrmacht was taken to pieces, packed up in little Peek Frean cake tins and stored in gingham shoebags in a secret house known only to the elves and a cleaning woman called Moira who now has agoraphobia.
The strange construction, I was able to explain to Ms B's guests, was the last guard tower to surrender, after those tense and anxious days. Legend has it, that half a dozen of Mr Mason's little robot soldiers are still at large somewhere in the woodlands, unaware that their conflict ended nearly forty years ago. The little guard tower though, has now become one of Wivenhoe's chief tourist attractions. As for Mr Mason, its builder, he was returned to a secure institution after his defeat and is still serving on the parish council.
Now can I have my pills and a glass of Ribena, Linda? Oh go on.
Paul McCartney Gets A Mention...
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chingnchime
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A modern era faerie tale with Macca thrown in for a bit of good measure. I found the literary style quite interesting and somewhat entertaining.
“We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.” - Albert Einstein
"You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother" - Albert Einstein
"You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother" - Albert Einstein
Brian: Mr. Newell is a brilliant songwriter, performer, poet and gardener. While it's a shame that he will always be a cult figure, it's also nice to know that success will never have a chance to corrupt him. He hates the business side of the music industry, doesn't like recording contracts, and refuses to tour. His last promo tour many years ago crossed England on bicycles.
Thanks Randy,
I will have to take a look for his material. As I say I found it quite interesting in that he juxtaposes characters from old fables with more contemporary ideas.
I will have to take a look for his material. As I say I found it quite interesting in that he juxtaposes characters from old fables with more contemporary ideas.
“We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.” - Albert Einstein
"You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother" - Albert Einstein
"You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother" - Albert Einstein
Brian: I can strongly recommend 'Radio Autumn Attic', 'The Spirit Cage', 'The Off-White Album' and 'The Greatest Living Englishman'. His website can be found at www.martinnewell.co.uk
Will he be putting that piece to music?
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Brian: Who knows? This was just one of his regular blog submissions. Mr. Newell is a very creative guy who always has many projects going (recording, songwriting, books, poetry, etc). When he wants to get away from music for a while, he hires himself out as a gardener. Definitely an odd character...
I could use a gardener. Personally, I've always liked odd characters.
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