There Comes a Day

[winston]

There comes a day when it is time to hang 'em up as they say in hockey. We all hope that day will never come but eventually it does for us all.

Let's share our stories and thoughts about approaching and in some cases realising that decision and how difficult or easy as the case may be to stop participating in a band. There are some I am sure who have packed it in and some time and later on have done it all over again. Let's hear from you as well how and why that decision was taken. It will be interesting to see what the influencing factors are: Family, friends, health, financial, work or whatever contributed to the decision that changed your life. Stories about other people that you know are equally as valid in this context, since this is about taking a very hard decision by those who love playing music.

[whojamfan]

I won't go in to details, but had to walk away from a very succesfull(in terms of touring, recording,and getting to play with and meet a good portion of my record collection)band to care for a close family member who desperately needed my help. My priorities had changed overnight, and have led me to where I live today. This pretty much ended my "professional" music career, as it were, in 2003.

I had since found some local guys, and did the "Bar" band thing for a few years, which was a new thing for me. I had played covers before, but never 4 sets of them, especially most of which I had never played before. The drummer and I have both decided we want to do original music more, and are currently looking for a bass player(any takers?). I got to live a dream I had when I first started playing, and am grateful for the experiences and people I have met along my way. I just wish I wasn't the chronic pothead I was back then, so I could remember more of it.

All I can really say, is there's really nothing like a "real" situation to prove to you who your true friends are. I don't want to go on about this, and certainly am not looking for any sympathy, but I would do it again in a heartbeat. I am trying to get back in to the biz, but obviously, fuel costs really prevent you from trying to put together any kind of touring to take it to the streets, as they say.

[winston]

My story is quite involved but I'll shorten it the best I can.

I was fortunate enough to be playing at a professional level from 1966 to 1969 and then my whole world came a huge stop. The British Invasion was over, Flower Power was suddenly all the rage and I had to adapt to stay in the game. Unfortunately about that time technology and the sound that was "in" required me to invest in new instruments and gear. As a newly wed I simply did not have the extra cash lying around to finance another foray into the world of rock and roll.

I laid low until 1975 and wrote enough songs for three albums and when I was able to put together a new strategy and some new equipment I contacted a bass player that I knew could make a difference and together we found a first class drummer. That band was the best I had ever been in. We got screwed though every turn we took. We recorded what we believe was a groundbreaking album for a Canadian band but the studio went into receivership and we never did get our money back or more importantly the tapes. Broke again we followed the rest of our strategy and managed to be accepted to go on tour with Rory Gallagher in 1975 promoting music that I knew would never see the light of day for financial reasons.

Rory asked me to leave my band and join his at the end of the short tour. I was willing to perhaps play in both bands until it became very clear which direction I needed to go in. Unfortunately my other career would not let me take 3 - 6 months off work to pursue a dream. My employer threatened to fire me. I could not possibly salvage a way back to earning a decent living and pursue a dream as well. In the mean time my band mates were quite upset at me for even considering going off to play with Gallagher.

Faced with losing good friends, a well paying job and stressing my family out (we had a young son by then) I caved and packed it in. Calling it a day. I have never played in a band since. I have recorded and jammed with friends but that's about it. Donal Gallagher (Rory's brother) was quite upset that the split of the take for me would not sustain me. Rory was upset that I could not find a way to play and make it work. He was convinced that we would have been good for each other both on stage and in the studio as our styles were so different. He loved my songs as well. Try as we may we could not come up with a solution.

So that's it...........I walked away and the rest as they say is water under the bridge.

[winston]

It would seem Mike that you and I are the only musicians on the forum that no longer play in a band. Maybe we should start an unemployed professional musicians union or something.

[captsandwich]

I started to type out a reply, and then realized I was getting angry. I'll tell about another that I feel no anger over.

I was kicked out of a band for stating that at the age of 31, I no longer wanted to tour as an indie band, forfeit holidays with my wife for endless ours in a van playing to nobody. I was perfectly willing to play in & around Toronto regularly, build up a local following & make demos to shop around, but was basically told that the band had to be my number one priority. I told the singer thanks, and maybe if I was closer to his age (25) I would do it, but I had other responsibilities at that point so Later Alligator. The bass player gave the exact same ultimatum at the exact same time, but she was told they would work something out. She walked anyways & is still a very close friend, whereas I haven't spoken to the singer in ages. The only part that irks me is that we were a tight band that was maybe two years ahead of the curve on popular alternative music (in hindsight) and had we honed our skills and bided our time, we could've been snapped up. But the singer wanted world domination right now. He went through a busload of musicians after us, but never seemed to catch the chemistry we had.

The flip side of the coin: he would've been completely unbearable if we had tasted success, so at least I avoided that.

[whojamfan]

Greg, I know exactly what you are talking about, It was something an ex and I fought over for years before we split, the old "out every holiday playing to nobody because they're all with their families" gigs. I always found it frustrating that every time we would do one of these gigs, the few people who would be there were always saying "everybodys out of town, why are you playing here tonight, when this place would have been full any other time." It's almost as bad as the bandmate, who is cool at home and at local gigs, who freaks out on you in the middle of a tour. I better stop now, arrrrrg!!

Thankfully, for myself, I have a good opportunity on the horizon that started to materialize last night when I was playing with my drummer. If all goes well, should be back to at least "Bar" band status within the next 2mos, from there, we'll at least be able to find other folks to do an original thing with. I'm far from being through, love it or hate it, I just have to accept who I am, and must play music.

[captsandwich]

That's where my band is currently. We play 3 or 4 times a year, we rehearse 2 or 3 times before each gig. It makes it difficult to work in new material, but at least we get to make some noise.

[phlemmy]

This one is sort of related and I hope not too far off topic.

When I first formed the Motorhead tribute band in 2004, we were playing a lot locally and I was starting to get some interest from promoters who wanted us to go on the road for a week or 2 at a time in the US and even got offered an all expense paid Euro-tour from a Swedish promoter...all stuff that I had to turn down because of the lack of enthusiasm in my bandmates. the final straw with those guys came when I was contacted by the booking agent from BB King's House of Blues in New York City. Motorhead had to cancel their US tour as lemmy had fallen off stage and hurt his foot. The venue wanted us to play the show, offered us $500+hotel rooms and we didn't need to bring a backilne. Sure, not the greatest money in the world and it was a 7hr drive each way..but it was a Saturday show. I told the agent to give me 2 days to contact the band and check schedules and such. The show was over 2 months away. When i presented the idea to the band, everyone scoffed at it. "Dude, NYC? No way, those Motorhead fans up there will eat us alive" etc etc. It was a great oppurtunity for the band to get some recognition for what we do. Making the phone call back to BB Kings was gut wrenching. I fired 2 of the 3 other guys in the band the next day. They were 2 dimes holding up a dollar.

To this day, I still look back on the possibility of playing that show and I get a bit ******.

[captsandwich]

The story that made me start getting angry involves 5 years of my life, quitting a good job, working at menial labour so I would be able to take off lots of time for the band, playing to tens of thousands of people, selling thousands of cd's & tapes (released completely independantly), spending almost every weekend involved in band activities, rarely seeing my girlfriend (now wife), never seeing a penny, spending the next few years of my life trying to climb out of the debt I had accumulated.
Our cross Canada tour (7 people in a van across the prairies in late November) was the final straw. We were like two hostile camps, and because our singer acted as manager, any criticism of the the tour planning was viewed as a personal assault.
I spent an awful lot of time listening to my walkman, staring out the window, wondering what the hell I was going to do with my life when the tour was over.
And to top it all off, the song I wrote that won a radio station contest was credited to our singer on the compilation cd released by the radio station.

[whojamfan]

Greg, I too just deleted several paragraphs pertaining to what you are talking about, but had to stop and erase them and just say this, "I know exactly what you're talking about, but can't talk about it here." I will say that I also have had some songwriting credits snatched from me, and one group, who I co-formed and played/recorded/toured with, has pretty much written me out of their history. In a way I'm glad, because I really don't like the direction that they have gone since I left, and really don't care for their new "fresh out of jail" look some people seem to think is so cool these days.

Sean, I hear ya, the bass player in a band I was in through the 90s was supposed to be saving to buy a van so we could go tour. Our label said when we were able to physically do it, they would book us a US tour supporting their bigger bands, who we would hook up with out on the road, or at their home town. We all show up to practice one day(1 1/2 hours each way for me)and outside is the huge early 60s Cadillac with the giant fins on it. About this time, the jackass comes hee hawing out the door bragging about his cool new Caddy. It took all of my strength not to knock him out.

As far as lead singers go, they need to pull their own weight. I buy professional quality guitars, amplifiers, and accesssories, and had to learn how to play( I almost have it ), so they should at least own a microphone, and get some vocal training on how to control their voice so they don't throw it out every night. A PA system is not an out of line request either, considering what us MUSICIANS had to pay for our equipment.

Uh oh, Rant Alert, Rant Alert,

[captsandwich]

Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on how you look at it, part of the deal for being included on the radio station compilation was waiving royalties. We were in their top 40 for several weeks, multiple plays a day, but nary a payment. On our own cd, the song was credited correctly, and was registered with SOCAN in my name.